You will be delighted, dear reader, to learn that the fine I received for my recent broadcast has been waived. When I was milking that sow live on air and gently encouraging it to embark in a mating ritual, I was doing so out of educational purposes only. Sure, genetics are fun. Sure, when two creatures are convinced to find that passion down deep inside them that makes the bacon, it’s exciting. But I provide an educational service. And that’s the truth.

This mp3 player I acquired off of a gentlemen looking for directions has rock power ballads that take Duane Earl back to high school. I had a powerful mullet perm, a comb in my back pocket, a mustache, and ladies would ride it – as in every cheerleader in school. That’s how Duane Earl rolls. Or rolled. Now I focus my attention to other matters at hand, like tending the herd. From one herd of beautiful heifers to another.